Updated: Nov 4, 2020
Written By: Linsey Gessner
Somehow I had convinced myself that giving to everyone else was somehow more honorable.
I began to distain my kindness and felt lost when not serving others.
The habit of over extending myself to those who are "broken" or unavailable has been embedded for much longer than my conscious awareness.
Maybe the brokenness throughout humanity is a result of Latch KEY KIDS.
For those who don't understand the term:
Google defines A latchkey kid, or latchkey child, is a child who returns to an empty home after school, or a child who is often left at home with no supervision, because their parent(s) is/are away at work.
Coming from a broken home causes extreme stress to children.
Stability is found when there is a strong foundation.
When your creators (mom and dad) decide to separate ; it causes a psychological split that can take a lifetime to mend.
My parents separated when I was two years old; this division is where my OVER compensation took root and grew.
The desire to fix and “people please”, created an "imaginary bandaid " in a wounded home.
A home that was split; and a wound I couldn't heal.
A a young person, I searched for new and better ways to win the validation and appreciation of my parents.
Excelling in gymnastics, achieving high marks in school; (despite my learning difference which went untreated for most of my youth.)
Adolescence introduced me to my favorite drug.
I became a LOVE JUNKY !!!
After learning about the withdrawal symptoms I wasn't very happy.
Depression and rebellion became my best friend.
I wanted something I might never get in this lifetime; I wanted a real family, true security.
I wanted to be well fed and celebrated.
I wanted to feel LOVED!
So, after 36 years of asking , "why am I here? what's the point of all this" and receiving limited answers.
I finally decided to kill myself.
To be continued...
WANT TO HERE HOW THE STORY UNFOLDS???
Extended CONVERSATION on BROKEN HOMES:
Of course people separate and naturally we need to make that choice in certain cases.
Yet, we're living in a time when divorce is standard and common place.
What do people gain from marriage?
Why does it still exist?
Is this a necessary step to keep tradition alive or a tax benefit?