Updated: 3 days ago
HOW TO TAKE THE LEAP OF FAITH NEEDED
While I learned to find the best in my cowardly life; a part of me has always felt ashamed for giving up on myself. So, one day, my inner being decided it was time to WAKE UP and find my legs again. They were made for jumping!
Once, many years ago, when my acting career was meant to begin and life pretended to blossom; I made several mis steps that detoured my performance career and propelled me into a much more “service” to others life path.
The Trip I never took...
Fresh out of college, freshly single; an acting career calling my name! I new California was the place for me!
I had purchased the plan ticket and promised a friend I would meet her to go apartment hunting in San Diego.
I had printed an image of the coast and it hung by my bed as I prepared for my new life.
Instead, I stayed entangled in a relationship with a man who truly didn’t care for me in the way I "needed" him to.
He prioritized his work and it devastated me because it was such an obvious connection with my most resonate male relationship. Yep, you know the one. MY dad.
I always longed for my original dream as an actor making it big in California.
Honestly, I wasn’t fully present in my work for others because I still hadn’t gotten to leap toward my calling.
Some say, these dreams are selfish and we must be practical if we are to become "successful".
Some say, we must serve others in order to gain the passport to our dreams.
Some say, leaping into your dreams with zero abandon is the only way.
Of course this becomes more difficult with age.
So back to the trip I never took; I had just exited a relationship and my Chicago roommate was headed abroad.
I had little reason to stay where I was aside from the fear of the unknown.
All signs pointed me toward this new adventure. I bought a plan ticket and planned to meet up to go apartment shopping with a new friend. My boxes were packed and I was a week away from starting my new life.
I'll tell ya the sad truth, I ended up cashing in that dream and detouring my life.
I stayed in Chicago and tried to win my ex-boyfriend back instead of following my dreams.
This "love chasing" became a toxic cycle that went on year after year; relationship after relationship.
The vicious co-dependency dance.
Luckily in May of 2017, I finally woke up and turned my life inside out!
It took a giant LEAP of FAITH and I haven't looked back!